STAND-UP: BIG FISH

Hello Errrrrbody! I just finished eating a bowl of Crispy Rice cereal. I hate how it absorbs all of the milk. I like to drink the milk at the end!! :( I decided to take the professional camera out to the stand-up show I was performing in. I wanted to show the world how magical comedy can be. The show was at this seedy bar & grill nameth Big Fish. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into the comedy world.

Here's an excellent shot of Stuart Thompson telling some jokes on the big stage at Big Fish:


Comedians; Joseph Larkin and Dave Schilling picked me up at a 711 where I was purchasing a Thor Super Big Gulp. As we drove to the show, Joseph couldn't stop talking about how he j/o'd into a Carl's Jr. wrapper while driving one time. Joseph said that, not me, I SWEAR!! ;);););)


Dave had on a cool Keith Haring tee shirt. Joseph thinks Keith Haring is a shitty artist and only likes Walt Disney's creations.


Joseph was the host for the night. I took this photograph during his "stop in the name of the love, before you break my heart" bit. It's a funny and touching bit about how his mother was going to leave the house one night without telling Joseph she loved him. You know the punchline because I put it in quotes, he sings it though. Great voice that guy.


An exuberant and attractive crowd at Big Fish:


A comedy fan:


This is the Big Fish the bar was named after. The signs under him and above the piano read: "No sitting on or putting drinks on the piano please." & in hand writing (just in case you can't read typed words or grammar good words) "Please no drinks on piano."


Dave jotting down some joke ideas about fish probably:


Sean Hart looks like he's steering a boat straight towards the Big Fish comedy dock!


After reading this...


You'll understand why this dude got kicked out. Someday I hope the USA will pass a bill stopping dog segregation :( Until then, this pooch is going to have to stay at home and drink beer out of his doggy bowl.


What's this pregnant lady going through chemotherapy doing at the bar??? :s


Great shot:


Big Fish may be segregating dogs, but here is a great example of their abolished segregation laws for 'non-whites'. They let Dave perform every week as long as he slaves over a broom and dustpan every time. The table in front of the stage also became the new stage after a few drinks. Yeah... it gets a bit wild!!!


Inebriated Jeremy Martin telling some jokes on top of the table.


Dave telling some jokes on the stage because he didn't have table privileges. I mean he barely has stage privileges.


Here's the robotic member of the band Tarter Control:


Here is the robot with its human counterparts; Robert Selander and Sean Hart.


Tarter Control is a really unique band that consists of two Mormon missionaries and a robot. You couldn't think of a better combination to rock 'n' roll with!


The Death Queen made an appearance???!


After a few more drinks the parking lot became the stage. Really digging Joseph's spring/summer collection he's wearing:


Pat Regan only told a few jokes outside before he went back inside to the 'real' stage. He was sober I'm guessing :/


The bar owner also owns a Porshe.... CALENDER!!!! I bet you didn't see that joke coming :) Was that a joke? Hello? Can you hear me now? What about now? D:


Here's a shot of my Thor Super Big Gulp next to a helmet. When I was buying this Super Big Gulp at 711, I saw an ad that promoted my ability to get a Big Gulp for 49 cents if I bought some big ass hotdog. So, I brought the big ass hotdog and and my soda to the cashier and he tried to charge me full price for my soda. I was confused until he pointed at the ad and yelled "BIG GULP!" then pointed at my soda and yelled "SUPER BIG GULP - FULL PRICE!" Needless to say, he was sort of a dick. I made him put the hotdog back. I didn't even want that goddamn hotdog.


This is very confusing, how could no one return The Beast with a reward like this?!!


A photograph of me trying to give some beer to mini-Jay Leno in his Lamborghini:


Comedy! What a wonderful and magical world! Thanks for hitting up yo numba 1 fav blog, dogs! See you next time!!!!!!

-The Professional Photographer ( Travis McFarland :)

THE FUTURE: THEME PARK

You guys are going to flip your WiG when you see what photos I've posted in this blogspot. Something fascinating, fantastic, and futuristic (FFF) happened to me yesterday. I was hacking into the internet and I found a worm hole!! Upon its discovery, I was sucked into the hole and it twisted my time-space continuum causing me to transfer myself into the year 2012! This was more than shocking and I knew I needed to document the experience through professional photography. I saw a sign for a theme park and I was on my way. I hope you guys enjoy my futuristic findings.

This is the interior of the future theme park. So marvelous!!!


Can you believe that in the future people will think that riding these crazy rides will be fun?? I don't know what sort of technology they are using to make this a safe experience, but count me out! :s


After documenting the zany upside-down flippy ride I looked to my left and saw some sort of space shuttle preparing for lift off! With normal civilians on board??? Amazing!!


After leaving the ride area, I cruised into the market place. The people of the future are much different than the past. So many people are against gun possession, but here, you can just buy them off the street! For 200 space dollars you can purchase your very own Cyber Mission Gun :O!!! I hope humans are smarter and safer in the years beyond ours, because this leaves a very bad taste in my mouth about mankind's future.


Hmm... Waste disposal doesn't seem to have changed much... At least to the naked eye!


I'm glad to see Nike is still in business and producing some very high-tech space shoes. I bought a pair and am wearing them now as I blog :)


I was afraid to photograph these 'girls' faces. I don't want to scare the general public when it comes to the future of makeup. You've been warned, world!! Great butts though :D


I couldn't really tell what this young adult was up to. But, it seemed as if he is doing something very suspicious. I'm guessing he's some sort of drug dealer or maybe a future pimp? I steered clear of this individual:


The portions of alcohol have definitely increased for your ordinary person. This is something they call a "Mega Bottle." I'm not a big drinker myself, but this guy sure is!


Sorry vegetarians/vegans, but it looks like animal cruelty is in mass effect. This man was playing a carnival game where he has to whack this helpless live chicken into a pot of boiling hot water. If he accomplished this task, he won the boiled chicken and was able to take it home to his, I'm guessing, starving family. (The economy doesn't seem to have gotten any better :( ) Hurley is still doing its thing I can see. Mad props, Hurley!


String puppets still suck in the future lol I bet Jeff Dunham is still kicking ASS though!


The sign above this live creature for sale was described as being a "Mars Dodo bird." I'm not even going to try to begin to explain this phenomenon...


Space tree:


In the future, vegetation is very scarce. Here's one of the only ferns I saw on the walls of the theme park:


Findings show that Coca-Cola's secret recipe is still in tact and delicious. The water at restaurants is no longer free though.


I tried to bite into this food and found it was plastic. The crap they can do in the future is mind boggling. Looks yummy though! I ended up only ordering chips and salsa.


I don't mean to scare you Christians out there, but in the future, that religious belief is kaput. Future people follow this prophet; Queen Zonkerette. Not really sure what their core beliefs are but most people peed on this statue while speaking in tongues. Maybe it was in Spanish... I don't goddamn know!!


I know y'all are mind blown! Sorry to show you what the future holds. But as a professional I feel as if it's my duty to perform such documentation. Don't fret though, everyone seemed happy, except the women who had that terrible makeup on! EEK! I didn't like the future as much as the present, so luckily I was able to find another worm hole in the big water slide (a story I won't bore you with.) Thanks for stopping by!!

-The Professional Photographer ( Travis McFarland :)

BEBE & KANDICE HIT THE TOWN

What's up what's up what's up? Sorry I haven't been posting blog posts as frequently as I used to. Ever since I posted 'babies doing stuff,' my phone hasn't stopped ringing! Soooo busy omg -_-! So, I was going through my archived images on my 10 terabyte internal hard drive, and I found some photographs from a night Bebe Zeva and Kandice Melonakos painted the town neon red!

Bebe and Kandice in their extraordinary garments:


"Strike a pose!" That's what I yelled before snapping this perfectly aligned photograph of the two ladies:


I think the garment theme of the night was "the ice & fire elements." Good job, girls!


To fend off undesirable males, the two held hands and talked about their periods:


I call this pose the: 'Just paid for parking on Hollywood Blvd. to go to Famima!! and finding out it no longer exists at this location'.


Here's a close-up photo of Kandice's 'necklaces':


Bebe and Kandice ended going to Cha Cha Lounge, where they saw many friends like the glamorous Annika:


Bebe thought Kandice's handshake was hilarious. I personally don't get what's so funny :/


"Wow... Travis McFarland is looking really really good tonight..." - Caitlin (red hair)


This is Caitlin:


This half man half wolf thing just finished filming for a new Brokencyde video before coming to the bar:


A pack of wolves dorks:


"...and the baby started to grow in this region of my body..." -Blazer guy


Here's some of the locals playing some sort of ancient European game:


Pete Wentz was there as well :D


Is this one of those gay 'bears' I've been hearing about?


Bebe and Kandice posing in front of some weird vending machine that sells mouse sombreros:


Bebe in deep thought while Kandice and Annika discuss politics.


Kandice gave this guy her number and wouldn't quit talking about how hot he was all the way home:


Beware of Dogs


This was a really fun night and I hope all of y'all guys enjoyed the professional photographs!!

-The Professional Photographer ( Travis McFarland :)